Uh...

...I did a race this morning.

I'll try and write a race report... somehow. :-/

Because I feel guilty about the lack of blog action...

Here you go.

Sucking it Up

Some of you who know me in real life know that apart from blogging and Les Mills, I'm a big cricket fan. I even tried writing a cricket blog for a while, but was spectacularly bad at it. I don't have that much of a cricketing brain, but when I watch it and read about it, I enjoy soaking up as much of it as I can. I played social women's cricket for one season a few years ago when I was studying, and again, was spectacularly bad at it - never mind I was reminded of how bitchy women can be when it comes to competitive situations. I was a social player in a social team, though due to the drought of women's teams, we were placed in a competitive tournament. The only games we ever won were by default, and whenever we won the toss, we would always bat first so that we could lose faster and be home by 2pm.

It's very rare that cricket and body image concerns interlink, and the last time I wrote about it, it was regarding New Zealand cricketer Jesse Ryder, and ridicules about his weight. He's still having issues discipline wise, but he's been delivering when it comes to on field performance.

Now, some other cricket related news caught my interest.

I saw this headline in a cricket news feed in my feed reader which had me thinking, "Seriously?"

Liposuction rules out controversial cricketer

HUH?!

I ain't kidding, that's a real article there. And here, and here.

In summary, for those of you who don't know/don't care about cricket, the cricketer in question - Shoaib Akhtar - used to play for Pakistan as a fast bowler. (bowler = the one that sends the ball down to the guy with the bat). He hasn't been selected to play for Pakistan for quite some time, due to several reasons - injuries, discipline, poor form, etc.

So what is the reason behind the liposuction?

This paragraph from the article describes his motives pretty accurately.

Previously one of the world's most feared fast bowlers, Akhtar had grown so out of shape in recent months that he decided to have fat sucked from his midriff in a bid to return to the game slimmer and faster.

It seems as though he was tapping into the perception of thinner = fitter. If he appeared to be thinner, then maybe the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) would consider him for selection, thinking that he was back to prime fitness. Because, after all [sarcasm] thinness is the one and only indication of fitness [/sarcasm].

What I was pleasantly surprised to find was how the deputy director general of the Pakistan Sports Board - Dr Waqar Ahmad - saw right through the cunning plan.

''The liposuction is a kind of cosmetic procedure and has nothing to do with the fitness of a player,'' Ahmad said.

''Mostly it is done for improving the figure and other cosmetic reasons whereas the shedding of weight of more than 12 kilograms might help him only when he will improve his muscle strength and stamina.

And I absolutely adore this last paragraph.

''Liposuction is not a kind of procedure which makes cricketers stronger,'' he said. ''The main factor in performance is agility, strength and stamina along with skill; therefore, I don't think that this procedure will get any popularity among the other cricketers.''

Good to see that fitness is still valued as fitness, rather than thinness being masqueraded as fitness.

When you can't beat 'em... Kill 'em with kindness?

It is rather strange how wit seems to be embarrassingly absent in some situations, and other times, it appears out of nowhere and you go, "Bloody hell, was that me?"

Case in point below.

* Marshmallow enters the sauna at the gym. There's already a lady in there, lying down. She sits upright, startled at the sound of me walking in, and sits up, and proceeds to stare at me for a good 5 minutes.
Random Lady in the Sauna	You know...
Random Lady in the Sauna	You've got *such* a pretty face. And you would have a beautiful body if you *just* lost a *bit* of weight, yeah?
Marshmallow	...
Marshmallow	Hah. Funny you say that.
Marshmallow	I was just about to tell you that *you* have such a pretty face, and *you* have a beautiful body.
Random Lady in the Sauna	...?
* Random Lady in the Sauna is puzzled, looks down for a while, then gets up and walks off.
Marshmallow	Have a good evening!

Funny, after all of that, I still feel like *I* was the one who was being a smart arse.

Thunderpants Competition Winner

Howdy everyone, sorry that I've taken a bit of time in getting this up!

Anyways, all of the entrants names were loaded in the competition software, and I am proud to announce that the winner iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis...

Miss L!

Congratulations! Can you please email me as soon as possible so that I can order the Thunderpants in your size (if you could check out this out REAL quick since I don't think they're going to be around for much longer so I need to order them really quickly, ack!)

And I really want to thank everyone who entered - it was really moving seeing what you guys came up with.

Only a few hours to go!

The 'I love my body because...' competition closes in just around 3 hours, so if you want to get your entries in, get them in quick!

Always a Bridesmaid: I'm Not a Puppet, I'm a Real Blogger

Previously...

• So it Begins
• You're Just an L.A. Girl
• My Way or The Our Way

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If you're wondering, "Hmmm... the title of this post sounds familiar...", let me point you in the direction of Shrek.

Remember now? Make sure you keep that in the back of your mind for now. It'll come up later in this post and round it all up in a nice, semi-intelligent, semi-witty manner.

The last time I had to do two flights back-to-back was when I was on a family trip to The Gold Coast and our flight from Auckland to Brisbane was cancelled. We did a flight from Auckland to Sydney and then had to grab a connecting flight to Brisbane. We were so tired by the end of the first flight, that when the second flight came about, we were so tired that we pretty much slept the entire time.

I felt a similar way getting on the second flight, only unlike the flight to Brisbane, I was weirded out that it was the middle of the day and there was sun streaming in through the windows. It was easy to pass out on the Brisbane flight since it was at some ridiculous hour, but this time, it was a little bit more difficult. Only a little, though.

As the plane was about to take off, the stewardess made an announcement over the in-flight PA system.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and welcome onboard this afternoon. In a few moments, we will be dimming the cabin lights in order to make our attending staff more attractive. In the event that this is not successful, we will be serving alcohol to further facilitate this."

Everyone on the plane burst out laughing; noone saw it coming, and I loved how the airline staff were able to crack a joke, and make an otherwise routine shuffle between two cities amusing and entertaining.

I zoned in and out throughout the flight, though at one point, I needed to go to the bathroom. A few of us were clustered around the toilet door waiting, and at one point, an air hostess wanted to go past us to get to the drinks trolley at the back of the plane. She said in a loud, authoritative folks, "Could'ya folks move outta th'way so I'z can git through?" I felt a little bit jilted... did I just get told off? Apparently not, since as soon as I moved out of the way to let her pass, she - again, rather loudly - "Thank y'all!"

I had a lot of subtle differences to get used to, and the loud, boisterous mannerisms were very different to what I'd experienced in Australia and New Zealand. Before you think I'm saying it's rude, that's not what I'm saying - it's different. In fact, a loud air hostess is nothing compared to some of the experiences I had in Asia. But I'm digressing.

The end of the flight drew remarkably close remarkably quickly. A girl sitting next to me asked me if I knew where to get gift cards for Costco. Heck, like I'd know where on earth you'd get those from! I explained to her that I wasn't from the USA and had just landed in the country a few hours ago, and she seemed a bit miffed that I couldn't help her. The guy sitting on the other side of me found this whole exchange rather amusing, and gave me a chuckle at my exasperated expression. She definitely had places to be and a strict timeline to be on.

As it turned out, our flight was denied access to landing for about half an hour, since there were thunderstorms at the airport. Ground control instructed the plane to circle in the air until clearance was given to land. I looked down and saw the 'thunderstorms' and thought, "Flipping heck, we would've been on the ground by now if we were in Wellington!" Time went on, and the girl next to me got more and more irritated. She had booked to get on a connecting flight to another city half an hour after this flight landed.

Uh... not the smartest move! I wouldn't do that in New Zealand where there's zero security to get through in domestic airports (Seriously, check in your bags and just walk onto the plane. Freaking awesome. Not sure how long it'll stay that way, but freaking awesome for the now.), so I have no idea how on earth that girl thought she was going to get onto her next plane. She was swearing and hissing and spitting next to me, and as soon as the plane touched down, she was up out of her seat and tearing out of the aircraft.

As the plane landed and I turned on my cellphone to text The One Whom I Was In The Country For, there were several messages from her, mainly instructions on how to get onto the arrival hall - very clear instructions, good for a northern hemisphere noob like me where left is right and right is left and everything feels different. One of the messages said, "We're in the arrival hall, how far away are you?" I had to say to her, "Still on the plane!"

Whoops! I hate having people wait for me, I really do.

What was this destination, this destination that I was at?

It was Denver International Airport, in Colorado. And from the very beginning, I was pretty damn impressed with it. It's a pretty airport, and was several levels up from what it was like at LAX.

I made my way to the arrivals hall, easily following The One Whom I Was In The Country For's instructions - the arrivals hall is landmarked by a massive fountain that greets the arriving passengers.

The fountain wasn't turned on when I arrived, so it wasn't as spectacular as it could have been, but honestly, fountain or no fountain, I was excited.

I had been incredibly close friends with this blogger for years - the sort of friend I never thought I'd deserve to have. Both her and her best friend were standing near the 'fountain', waiting for me, and I saw them through a wall of glass as I came up the escalators into the arrival hall.

Had I the ability to leap over the escalator railing, defy gravity, and smash through glass without being cut to get over to them both faster, I would've. That's how excited I was to see them.

I tore through the masses of people towards them - quite possibly knocking over several small children and grandmothers in the process. Civilian casualties, I'm afraid; absolutely unavoidable. They were in the way of an unstoppable force!

Goodness knows what Christie and her best friend Triple S were thinking as this big, jetlagged beast steamrolled towards them!

As soon as I was in striking distance, I gave Christie the biggest of biggest hugs that you can imagine.

And then she said to me with sheer delight and excitement...

"You're real!!!"

She took the words right out of my mouth. I'm not a puppet, I'm real.

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To be continued...

Mary: Why I Love My Body

On the same level as the competition I'm running (get your entries in!), is this fantastic post from Mary over at A Merry Life.

I could write a post about all the things I still want to change, to make look better, but I won’t. Instead, I’m going to honor the body that I have right now, in the stage that it is currently in. I am going to love it now, accept it, and still look forward to more positive changes

So my answer to the “Why do you love your body?” is this:

[click through for image]

My body is not perfect. In fact, it is probably farther from “perfect” than anyone who has done this yet, but I’m comfortable in it. And I love it… because it’s mine. No one else’s. So if I think it is beautiful, then it is.

Mary is INCREDIBLY brave, and I take my hat off to her. An amazing, beautiful, inspirational person - whom we need more of in this world.

The post is well worth a look at.