I was in the gym today, and my regular Friday routine is to set up my RPM bike and have a sauna before the class starts. This might sound odd, but firstly, it warms up the muscles a bit, and secondly, the shower refreshes me and I feel like I've washed off all of the 'bleh'ness of the day.
When I was going into the showers, I ended up slipping over and despite my best efforts to clutch onto cubicle doors and whatnot in an attempt to steady myself, I instead went crashing to the floor, my right elbow taking most of the impact, and my right side taking the rest. It was embarrassing, though several people came to my aide and asked me if I was okay.
That's not the issue, I'm fine with that. I'm very sore right now, but I'm fine with that.
Because my right side (particularly right butt cheek, hamstring, and the right side of my lower back) are sore, walking around is a bit uncomfortable. As I got up from watching a bit of cricket, my Mum guffawed at my inability to walk properly. I said, "Very funny, huh? I'd like to see YOU in that gym!"
To which she responded, "Yeah, and I'd do a better job than you."
I'll always be a failure in her eyes, no matter how much I am working out. If I am not thin, which I am not, and have given up any thought of ever being, then I will be a disappointment.
I am working on finding a way to move out of home, though it's not an immediate possibility.
Statements like that make me wish it was.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Forgive me, but I feel the need to vent.
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29 comments:
I know the feeling of being run down by your parent... my Dad did it all the time to me... to the point that when he DROWNED I was ... relieved he was not able to hurt me ever again. HOW BLOODY SAD IS THAT!
I miss him of course, but not his mean tongue.
I hope your mother one day realises just how much her words can hurt you.
Oh and so sorry you hurt yourself... I hope you have a great weekend mate.
Hi! :-)
Lurking here most of the time, I have to be honest and tell you the truth: I really really enjoy reading your wise, true and funny posts, I am amazed at how far you've come, and how much energy you seem to have for all your goals and endeavors. But I feel always something between angry, helpless and sad when there is a post where your mom hurts you yet again, and I always think to myself: She really needs to move out. Now I'm finally saying it here :-) Well... don't take this the wrong way, I guess I'm just trying to encourage you to take that step and move out! I know that sometimes, financially or otherwise, that is very difficult to do. Also, parents remain parents. But I do think sometimes a little physical distance does wonders, and being able to actually choose when you see parents again. And having an own place where you can slam the door shut rocks. Very much :-)
Hope your elbow and side are better soon! All the best from Berlin!
tehbloe
Seriously, your mom sounds like she's really verbally abusive. I hope you can move out ASAP, and once you do, send her a therapy bill.
That mum of yours... bloody hell. You should take her up on that challenge. Get her to name the test, then proceed to pwn her :D
Sorry to hear you're sore. A slip onto a hard floor is never fun.
How many weeks until you come visit? Then I can give you a real hug! huuuuug}
Am glad I won't have to see your mum, dunno if I could be civil. Would probably have to bite my tongue bloody to do it! And you know me...that's saying something! "Grrr" to your mum, I say. "Grrrr!"
I fell asleep while breastfeeding on the couch, and ended up slumped over so bad I couldn't get out by myself. (And it took half an hour for alaskaboy to wake up enough to hear me yelling out to him! Stupid earplugs. yeesh)
Now I've got such a stiff neck I'm walking around like I've got a pole up my arse. Man, can I sympathise.
Mmm, mmm love the smell of Tiger Balm/Dencorub/Deep Heat or whatever the local brand of heating cream for sore muscles is!
I recently had to move back in with my mom. It sucks. You need to get out. So do I.
*sigh*
I am with FLG. Challenge her. Or make it sound 'nice', like, hey mom wanna go for a bike ride with me? And then leave her in the dust.
I do hope you can get out soon. Tents are cheap :)
Man, that's dirty. It is impressive how well you do with so little support from your family.
In my experience, moving out does wonders for the parent/child relationship. I hope you can manage that soon.
Also, I agree with Kepa.
Ugh - I'm sorry. We all have people in our lives that will knock us down, intentionally or not.
Try not to let it bother you too much - you know you kick butt!!!
I fell recently too. Sucked. There is something about a bad fall that just leaves you feel all out of sorts. I hope you heal up soon.
I agree with FLG. Time to tell Mom to put up or shut up. Hard to do but worth the hassle in the end I think.
*hugs* Marshy this really sucks!
As it happens I am looking for a flatmate :P 160 plus expenses for a really good sized room in Ponsonby :P
Oh I didn't win the Cleo thing btw but thanks for your support.
<3
I might not always comment(don't think I've ever commented on DYHXLIT), but you're always in my thoughts somehow. I once joked with a friend that I was gonna get a WWMD (what would marshy do) wristband.
your mom needs to stop being such a stereotype of a a typical, overbearing Indian mom. Easier said than done. I guess they think that reverse psychologising kids will = motivation to improve/do better. What they don't get is that that stopped working when some ancestor jumped on a boat and left the Motherland to find new avenues. They don't get that we've grown up as Gen 2/3 in a different society and world altogether and while we might have cultural links, we sure as hell have different outlooks and philosophies on life. We don't find the need to conform to media ideals when all we really want is to be happy. Happiness that is not aided by psychologically invasive comments such as the ones your mom seems pretty glib with.
Love from South Africa :)
qL
Dude
I really think you should get your elbow Xrayed, cause although, yes it's painful, I really hope you fractured nothing.
As for your mom, and moving out, you know you'll get there and it'll be a great xmas present I hope :D
have a card when they open it says "Thanks mom for your lack of encouragement, Thanks dad for your lack of faith in me. I will be out by the end of the week"
sorry, i'm trying to be funny
Love you LOTS
Tamara
Better be careful with your movements next time. Injuries can hinder with your plans to take off the excess fat. I also had the same experience when I sprained my ankle but good thing I was on EFT training that's why I was able to continue my weight loss routine.
I'm so sorry you hurt yourself and so sorry your mom feels that way. Really. I wish there was something I could do to change it.
I am so sorry. I really don't think Parents realize how much damage they can do to their kids.
Parents are such a pain in the ass. I'm sorry. You really do need to find a way to get the hell away from it and live elsewhere for awhile. I actually think it should be almost a coming of age requirement that everybody live at least 2 years as far away on earth as they can get from their parents, just for a healthy break.
I too growl in your mother's general direction.
And it makes my wonder why she feel so insecure about herself that she needs to constantly compete with you and put you down.
We're proud of you, even if your mum isn't.
Your mother's comment was just plain mean spirited. I'm a mother, and a grandmother, and I assure you it is possible to raise a child without grinding their self confidence into the dust. My kids aren't perfect but they are doing ok and they have an idea of who they are. Time to do all you can to get your a** out of the parental home and your heart away from such nasty comments.
Good luck to you
Barb
Ok...you need to make a plan and a checklist to move out. YOu have a full time job, yes? If so, check out the cost of renting (whether it be your own place or a share house - and I recommend a share house, I've met some of my best friends that way!) get a budget happening, and give yourself a time limit. If you don't have any debt, save your bond, get $2000-$5000 slush fund sorted and move out. You could do this in 6 - 12 months.
I don't know a lot about you Marshy, but I think I have been reading about your mum being horrible to you for as long as I've been reading this blog. If you have enough money for trips OS you have enough money to move out. Do it.
All this is written with love BTW!
Bee - Am already working on it.
I absolutely love your writing style and your jokes, ahahaha.
Well I am going to take a different approach here, I know at times we have to do what we don't want to do. With your Mom I think that you should really step away from what she is saying to you, she is obviously in a negative state of her own. But please don't own her anger, be happy for how far you have come and know that you can conquer all. A good book read is anything to do with Bryon Katie do a search and see what you can find. Take care of yourself and know you have alot of supporters with you.xx
I'm almost 42, married with 2 kids, and my mom's comments STILL jab at me. She always makes comments about my weight. It never ends, from early childhood till now, always making comments.
Though I have to say, I have learned--esp after my dad's death--that she is still like a little kid, needing constant affirmation and esp needing to put others down to make herself feel better.
So, I spend very little time with her.
Yes, you're right: move out!
Love your blog!
Sorry to hear about your right side. Are you okay now?
I'm sorry about your mom too. I do agree that you should move out. You, staying at home longer doesn't really help at all. I really hope things work out for you. Take care.
Hey, I found your blog and read your posts. I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your mom...
I must agree that you should move out!
Good Luck
Cabbage Soup Diet
Cabbage Diet Soup
Just checking in to say, MISS YA! I hope you're doing okay.
Yea, living with your parents is not healthy if they are not supportive of your goals. You need to move out!